Just not right...

When you have been mistreated, it is difficult to get over it sometimes. Especially when there is nothing you can do about it. We all have this happen in our personal life, but when it happens in the workplace it is a whole different issue. The situation leaves you questioning your own self-worth as a person and an employee. Not only do you feel bitterness and resentment toward the person or persons involved in your mistreatment, you unconsciously begin to resent the company you work for all together. You go through all the emotions of feeling wronged, mad, hurt, startled, wounded and even sad. Somewhere through the phases of feelings, you even begin to want to strike back somehow. You begin to build a case against them in your mind. You feel a righteously indignant anger. Naturally, you want to act out on these impulses so you will feel the satisfaction of releasing the bad feelings. Unfortunately, to do so would be the worst thing you can do. The Buddha once said, “Getting angry with another person is like throwing hot coals with bare hands: both people get burned.” Easier said than done, right? You bet. Currently, I am in a situation like this. Because I am a transparent person, I will share my story.
                First of all, I have worked for my current organization for almost ten years. I started off on the factory floor and in that time, I have worked full time and overtime hours while achieving my bachelor’s degree. Not only did I get my degree, but I did it with a 3.8 GPA. Now, I am only five courses away from obtaining my master’s degree with a 4.0 GPA. I have been a loyal employee for all of my years at my current company. I have had only stellar performance reviews that whole time and my supervisors over the years have always said that I go above and beyond. I have shared in previous blog posts that I have applied to several positions to no avail and recently had another experience as such. This time, however, has left me with a deep feeling of bitterness and anger which I am having a lot of trouble getting over. Up to this point, I always gave my employer the benefit of the doubt. I have always tried to see the bright side and keep telling myself to be patient. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t struggling with this now. What happened, you ask? Okay, so I had a hiring manager contact me and tell me that he had a position that he thought I would be interested in. I checked out the position and even had a meeting with another person who has the same position to find out just what the job was all about. Honestly, the job was perfect for me. I had many of the skills essential to perform the job well plus my years of service in the organization had provided me with an awesome working knowledge of the company. I applied to the job, went through the 3 hour interview process and felt very confident. Then, after hearing nothing for weeks, I contacted the hiring manager to inquire about the status of the position. He informed me that I had not been chosen. I immediately asked for a meeting at which I could receive feedback. I asked what I could have done better, or what I should work on in order to gain the necessary experience and qualities for next time. The hiring manager literally told me that the only reason I did not get the position was because the person he chose had just a little more experience than I did. Okay. I can handle that. Unfortunately, it did not end there. Later, I found out that the person who was hired actually had NO experience in the industry of our organization. Not only did this person have no experience in our industry, the person had no experience with the position being hired for. Oh, did I mention that the person who got hired is actually married to someone who currently works in our facility? And that person is friends with the hiring manager? Hmmmm?

Unfortunately, I just can’t seem to get over it. I realize that this sort of thing probably happens all the time, but frankly, it pisses me off for all of those out there who are like me. Those who have been loyal, dedicated, productive employees who get discriminated against simply because they are not related to or buddies with someone in upper management. Where do I go from here? I don’t know yet, but I do know that the way the managers behave is not a reflection of me or my own knowledge, skills, and abilities. What I must realize is that character is not something that goes out of fashion or that can be changed easily or from person to person. Maybe I will be persecuted for standing up for myself and for the many others who are wronged because of nepotism and cronyism, but my own character does not allow me to not speak up. At this point, I still have no idea what I will do. I am trying to move past the whole thing, but truthfully, I am finding it to be an impossible task. I am a talented, intelligent, loyal and hard-working employee who has been very, very wronged. 

I will have a large promotion with a side of huge salary, please...

I am NOT perfect. What an epiphany, right? Not really. I am human just like everyone else. I am on this career journey, and trying to figure out who I should be, how I should behave, what steps I should take, what to say and how to say it in order to get ahead. I feel confident in myself, even on my bad days, but where I sometimes lose faith is in the ability of the decision-makers to be objective and fair. In the last few years I have grown as a professional. I was perusing some of my writings from several years ago and came across this one. I felt sad when I read it, because I remember how I felt at the time when I wrote it. I remember feeling so wrongly perceived, judged, and mistreated. I remember working hard, taking on extra work, volunteering for special projects, and putting forth everything I was capable of at that time. I remember never seeming to be able to catch a break. I remember applying to many opportunities to no avail. This is how I felt back then:

 

Now let’s discuss this twisted paradigm, clearly in need of a hard shift, that I find myself situated right smack in the center of. 
Let us, for a moment, consider that the world is not fair and will likely never reach the half-way point to fairness, let alone the pinnacle. 
We advance in this life because we are talented, and intelligent, and capable, and willing, right?  Wrong.  Imagine that a wrecking ball just hit me in the forehead. 
Funny, huh?  Not so much. 

An epiphany has consumed my mind and invaded my heart, my passion.  I shall describe for you my previous vision, distorted as it was. 
Here goes: 
Work hard. 
Be kind and thoughtful. 
Make intelligent decisions. 
Create change through your efforts. 
Pursue, persist, be patient…blah, blah, blah. 
Now, you are either laughing at the absurdity of my naivety, or you are squinting at your computer screen inquisitively and asking yourself, “Where is she going with this?” 
There are people in this world who can talk their way into or out of anything and there are people in this world who put their nose to the grindstone. 
The ‘talkers’ don’t actually have any tangible knowledge to contribute, they just have an extensive vocabulary and an uncanny knack for talking in circles in such a way that whilst they are speaking, they will drive your thought away from the original focus, and navigate you right off the map. 
Then they stop…look at you, because you are standing there looking puzzled at how you arrived at such a location in your thoughts, and before you can even re-route to the originally planned destination – they are gone. 
As you stand there, watching the back of their head as they walk away, you are left with a feeling of something left undone.  Now, I generally will explain anything to anyone, because it has always been my wish for people to clearly understand concepts and ideas and to not be left confused. 
So, my revelation disembarks.  All this time I have been travelling around with this silly notion about how to get ahead in the world; reading everything, listening to everything, soaking in knowledge like a sponge, because someday it will pay off. Someday, someone important will see how brilliant I am, what a great leader I have become, and how inspired and inspiring I can be. 
Now, imagine the wrecking ball swinging away from my forehead, and a gigantic, million-watt light bulb emblazoned over my splattered brain. 
Duh! All this time I have had it all wrong. 

I don’t actually have to be smart; I just have to talk like I am!

Fortunately for me, I have not only become very smart over time, but I have learned how to talk like I am. The view can only be up up up from here, right?

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So I read this book...

First of all, The Innovation Secrets of Steve Jobs by Carmine Gallo is incredibly inspiring. After reading only the first few chapters I was already excitedly recommending this book to friends and coworkers. 

I really enjoy the chronicles of Steve Jobs, but what sets this book apart is all of the other stories of important people in business and their own ‘rites of passage’ through innovation and leadership. Most intriguing to me is Jobs' first principle of doing what you love. Honestly, most folks would view Jobs’s act of quitting college and being a sort of vagabond in his early adult life as irresponsible and rebellious. In all seriousness, I would be disgusted to see any young person live like that. I would probably judge them and have preconceived notions that they will never be successful. I know I am not alone in this way of thinking, and I know that I would have considered any young person in such a state to be lazy and immature. 

The first few chapters of Gallo’s book have given me an epiphany about how quickly we judge those who we don’t consider to be going through the accepted motions of becoming a successful and responsible adult. This whole idea of doing what you love is so often preached, but with conditions. You should do what you love under the condition that what you love is a socially acceptable norm. Carmine Gallo gives many examples of people who followed their hearts and their intuition and became wildly successful and were happy doing it.

“Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become,” says Steve Jobs. Wow! How profound is that? I have always known, from somewhere deep inside, that I have not yet found my place in the world. I always have a job, and I am a loyal employee, often sticking it out at jobs for many years. I have worked for my current employer for more than eight years. However, it has felt as if I have only been biding my time. This brings me to another part of Gallo's book that really intrigued me. Carmine Gallo explains how important it is not to settle. He shares and excerpt of an interview with Steve Jobs where Jobs explains how success is directly correlated with perseverance and passion. I have literally applied for more than 17 different positions at my current place of employment and have only had a handful of interviews and one job offer. I could easily give up and just settle for where I have been or where I currently am, but I refuse. Just as Jobs has simply taken whatever situation he finds himself in and pursues what he is passionate about, his path has always worked itself out in his favor . I used to get down on myself and think that I would never have the opportunity to follow my passion for people, employee satisfaction and its relativity to quality and production. I have watched people around me climb the management ladder, and manage in ways that I am very oppositional to. I could let this get me down, but I have refused. I completed my associate’s degree in the hope that it would help me get promoted, but it didn’t. So, I got my bachelor’s degree in the hope that it would at least get me another position in the company, and it did. It isn’t a management position, but it is finally a different job. This gave me hope, so I am now pursuing my master’s degree in the hope that it will finally break that barrier into the management world for me. After reading the story about James Dyson and how he failed 5,126 times before finally succeeding, how could I possibly give up on my dreams of becoming a CEO? You see, I have the determination of those who succeeded before me, and I have my sights set on going up that ladder. 

One of my other passions is in recruiting and what James Dyson had to say about recruiting still rings in my ears. He said, 

“The trouble is you have human resource departments…this idea that when you take someone on, you take someone on who’s had experience in your field.” 

I am a true believer in that experience means something, but not everything. There is a more important quality for hiring the right person for a job: potential. Potential = qualities or abilities that may be developed and lead to future success or usefulness. Everyone has to start somewhere! 

Carmine Gallo affirmed for me many of my own ideas and beliefs. If anything, I have been inspired and motivated to continue to pursue my passion for understanding people, and helping the business world to understand their people, and not because the job has potentiality for financial bliss. I will do it because I can do it, I understand it, and I like it.

It just seems so simple...

 

It is pretty clear that successful and innovative people have a set of skills which sets them apart from the rest. Part of that skill set is an ability to connect things which would normally seem disparate or unconnected. Research done by Harvard has termed this as “associating”. In my own experience, I have found that some of the most interesting people I meet and talk with have a vast expanse of things they have done and experienced. Those same people seem to be the most successful in their careers and personal lives, too. I recently had the opportunity to spend some time with a top manager for my own employer, and several times during that time I would ask myself, “I wonder if this is what it would be like to meet Steve Jobs in person?” Listening to this leader was so intriguing. He was wise with knowledge and drew inferences to all of his seemingly unrelated experiences. He referred to his experiences playing tennis, mountain climbing, being a licensed airplane pilot, traveling to and living in foreign lands, and much much more. I could have listened to this man talk for hours. Given the stories about Steve Jobs and my own encounter with a corporate leader, I have no doubt in my mind that Gregory Berns was on to something huge when he said:

 “To see things differently than other people…bombard the brain with things it has never encountered before.”

I am immediately reminded of schema theory as I begin to understand Berns’s theory about iconoclasts thinking. Schema theory presents that all information we take in is categorized into units, or schemata, and that the compilation of those units affect the way we interpret information. As new information is received, our perceptions and interpretations continue to change.

My eyes were opened when Carmine Gallo discussed that Steve Jobs did not believe in focus groups. It really made sense that it isn’t about convincing folks to buy into something they don’t need or want, but it is about figuring out just what it is that they need and want before they even know they need or want it. Steve Jobs recognizes that current consumers are not necessarily going to realize their own needs, so it is up to the company to figure it out and introduce them to it and “fill a gap that customers didn’t even know they had”.

So, instead of offering a zillion and one options of the same product, the idea of simplicity really makes sense to me. I use this theory with my own children when I offer them choices of clothes, or snacks. I give them a choice between only a few items rather than just opening the cupboard or the closet and saying, “What do you want?” They make a faster and more definitive choice when I don’t give an overwhelming amount of options. Therefore, it is realistic that this same thing applies to consumers. Offering too many options or variants in a product can just be daunting and the consumer will walk away with nothing rather than spend time trying to choose.

                I find myself with many ‘a-ha’ moments whilst reading about Steve Jobs and others like him. I think, “This stuff seems so simple; like common-sense, you know?” I am left wondering why we, the people, tend to over-complicate everything.

 

Bring on the servant leaders!

I am finding, the more I read about servant-leadership, affirmation of my own ideas about how a leader should be. In my own experience with a handful of ‘not-so-good’ leaders, I just couldn’t understand how they didn’t grasp how their lack of certain behaviors, or certain character traits, were negatively affecting their employees.  I have always had these notions about leadership, and it just seemed to me to be common sense. Reflecting back on those times when I have encountered others who seem to lack many of the servant-leader characteristics, I can understand why they fail as a leader or simply cannot gain a decent following of people. A true servant-leader doesn’t have to ask for respect, he or she simply earns it and maintains it.

Beginning with Robert K. Greenleaf's writings, servant leadership has become one of those things everyone reads about, but few manage to live it out. I recently came across a book called “Seven Pillars of Servant Leadership” by James w. Sipe and Don M. Frick which has proven itself an essential partner to Robert Greenleaf’s book. While I gained a lot of insight into the idea of servant leadership by reading Greenleaf’s book, “Seven Pillars of Servant Leadership” is bringing all of Greenleaf’s original concepts full circle for me. I remember while I was reading Greenleaf’s words, I kept feeling as if I wish he could have expounded a little more in order to give clear vision for the implementation of his ideas. Sipe and Frick have come to the rescue in that aspect.

They have not created a new idea, but simply clarified a lot of Greenleaf’s message and created a map for the process of actually carrying out servant leadership. “Seven Pillars of Servant Leadership” is introduced with an outline of what Sipe and Frick believe to be the seven characteristics of an ideal servant leader. Those characteristics are a person of character, putting people first, communicating skillfully, collaborating compassionately, having foresight, being a systems thinker, and leading with moral authority. The authors, Sipe and Frick, understand that change is difficult for people and offer up some advice about how to change our own behavior and thinking in order to adopt the servant-leader characteristics. They often stress the practice of asking ourselves questions and reflecting our answers.

Beginning with the idea that a servant-leader is a person of moral character, we begin to understand that this type of person has integrity, humility, and serves a purpose higher than their own self. The basic idea is about following a moral compass and keeping your behavior and actions consistent in all areas of life, whether someone is looking or not. We must ask ourselves, at the end of the day, “Did I do anything today that I do not feel ‘good’ about?”  A true servant-leader avoids acting impulsively, thinks through the consequences of any action before doing things, and practices patience. 

Next up, the servant-leader puts people first.  In a nutshell, the servant-leader genuinely cares for others and being empathic is simply automatic. A servant-leader truly wants what is best for those around him or her and will put forth a servant’s heart that guides and teaches those around in order to help others grow. They are genuine in grooming their protégés without self-serving interests. One of the most important traits, in my opinion, is being a skilled communicator. While we can hold almost any of the other traits, if we do not know how to effectively express ourselves and communicate appropriately, then the package is never really complete. Being able to relate to others, and using the ABCs (act interested, be encouraging, and clarify) of communication will aid in helping others to see that you are empathic and that you value them enough to be clear and straight with them.  Also important is being able to ‘call a spade a spade’ so to speak. Get in touch with our feelings and being able to correctly label what feelings we are having. This will aid us in being assertive without being too forthright and to be relatable to others. As Sipe and Frick state so well:

“Like water falling on rocks and dissolving hard minerals, calm, persistent listening and direct, respectful sharing of the self can break down barriers to communication and slowly transform people”

So, where are all the servant leaders? At what point will hiring managers and top executives realize that servant leaders will inspire their teams to take organizations to the next level. Want to be a successful company? Then, my friends, it is time to change your perspective and see that servant leaders are the key to getting there. Promote the people who care about their team members, the ones who inspire and encourage others to reach their full potential and then strive for more. STOP promoting based solely on competancies! STOP promoting (or not promoting) on the basis of your own emotions! Be objective realistic and you will not regret promoting folks based on merit and potential.